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We write to patch things up, maybe not to agree but to proclaim love.

Time, love, sacrifice.

7/23/08 12:57 pm - fear of the Lord

“Let those who fear You turn to me,
those who know Your testimonies.
 
Let my heart be blameless regarding Your statutes
That I may not be ashamed”                   

Psalm 119:79-80

Thought today's icare meditation passage was quite apt in many ways.

7/23/08 01:22 am - Wise.

"When wisdom enters your heart,
And knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
Discretion will preserve you;
Understanding will keep you,
To deliver you from the way of evil,
From the man who speaks perverse things." 

Proverbs 2:10-12

Something I've been searching and praying for- wisdom.

I'm going for a short trip to Bintan with some good friends next week.

I've really enjoyed Sam's company this holidays :) absolutely do not want you to go back BUT you'll be back in dec so that's just a stone's throw away. miss you till then :(

My sister is back from Italy. With a lost camera. Sigh. I still haven't really gotten over my attachment to the camera.

I'm learning how to do without spending so much everyday. i.e. no cabbing, no impulse shopping (I haven't cabbed in... ages! many many  many weeks)

I'm giving English tuition to this P3 boy who is a rascal. He claims I will not last and I will give up on him soon. Well, we'll see.

Prayer life and sin- those two things I'm working on to cultivate a fear of the Lord. (wonder how long that will take)

Prayer- learning how to speak less, listen more to the Lord
              learning how not to expect answers, but just to grow closer to Him each day and learning that He is faithful in every way

Sin- learning how to deal with my ill-discipline (in praying especially). instilling in myself a sense of punctuality and accountability               as a person and a servant of God. learning how to listen to my parents, spend time meaningfully with them, enjoy their company and love them even when I find it difficult to.


Random updates on life, my life if you're interested :)
no pictures because MY CAMERA IS GONE LOST STOLEN LEFT ON A SIA AEROPLANE.
( I can seriously cry)

7/9/08 11:15 pm - new semester new thing

DO I REALLY PRAY?

I often say my prayers,
But do I really pray?
And do the wishes of my heart
Go with the words I say?

I may as well kneel down
And worship gods of stone,
As offer to the living God
A prayer of words alone.

For words without the heart
The Lord will never hear;
Nor will He to those attend
Whose prayer is not sincere!

Lord, show me what I need
And teach me how to pray,
And help me when I seek Thy grace
To mean the words I say.

John Burton


Haven't been here in such a long time. I even forgot that this existed for a while.

Anyway this new semester is going to be one new and interesting experience. I'm embarking on a technical journey of examining the English language. Haha. I've decided to major in English Language. Yes, it's language, and it's not English Literature. It's a little daunting, to say the least. I don't know anyone majoring in English personally, and I've heard really bad reviews from friends and friends' friends and so on. I was deciding between English and Sociology, and I know I can do better if I choose the latter, but... I just don't feel satisfied with Soci because it's a little too general for my liking. So I'm going to be brave and do English, and I'm going to pray a lot. I know this is probably going to be pretty difficult, but I have been thinking about it and I really want to see how the Lord can feature so much more in my life and I want to see how my faith and prayer life can be further strengthened in the next few years in school. And with that, I'm going to commit everything to Him in prayer.

Pastor asked us during 9am class (sorry I don't know what else to call the class) what we each aspire to become. I said I wanted to be a person of prayer and strength. As if that's not enough, I want to add on to those two characteristics. At the most recent 9am class Pastor spoke about the importance of having wisdom and spirit in us, especially in this scary world. I know it's gonna be a long long time (I speak in terms of decades) before I ever achieve the status of having a wonderful prayer life, tremendous strength and a strong spirit, and last but not least, wisdom. But hmmm, I'm gonna try. So that's 4 things to pray about and to be most conscious of.

Pray for me :)

 

6/12/08 12:33 pm - The Call

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

6/9/08 12:30 am - ---

I think I found something really special.

5/15/08 10:26 am - Heaven knows

We learned a new song at choir last week for anniversary in August, and during the week as I looked through the words of the song I realised how apt the song was, with reference to things happening in the world that seem so hard to comprehend. Tuesday's lessons were really hard-hitting and thought-provoking.

You are not a god created by human hands,
You are not a god dependent on any mortal man.
You are not a god in need of anything we can give,
By Your plan, that's just the way it is.

You are God alone.
from before time began,
You were on Your throne,
You were God alone.
And right now, in the good times and bad,
You are on Your throne,
You are God alone!

I think when something really bad happens it's hard to trace God's hand in the bad things. It's hard to say, 'this is in the will of God', and we'll never know how His will works out for us anyway. Pastor Mitch said the challenge is not to fully understand, but to accept. Let God be God. It's easy to say and proclaim that God is still in control over all things and is sovereign over everything, but they're merely words and nothing else.

Good time of grappling and thinking, and reaffirming what I believe about God in the first place.
Cyclones and earthquakes can happen, BUT GOD IS NOT EVIL, AND HE DOES NOT WILL PEOPLE TO PERISH.
And I really believe that with my whole heart.

5/11/08 06:02 pm - thank God

GRATITUDE

 Today I stood at my window and cursed the pouring rain,
Today a desperate farmer prayed for his field of grain
My weekend plans are ruined, it almost makes me cry
While the farmer lifts his arms and blesses the clouded sky.

The alarm went off on Monday and I cursed my work routine,
Next door a laid-ff mechanic feels the empty pockets of his jeans.
I can’t wait for my vacation, some time to take for me,
He doesn’t know tonight how he’ll feed his family.

I cursed my leaky roof and the grass to mow,
A homeless man downtown checks for change in the telephone.
I need a new car, mine is getting really old,
He huddles in a doorway, seeking shelter from the cold.

With blessings I’m surrounded, the rain, a job, a home,
Though my eyes are often blinded by the things I think I own.

~Anon~

How spoilt I have been, to forget what God has blessed me with and not look beyond myself.

Thank God for everything, and I still believe that He is sovereign over all things and in control of everything, even the situation in Myanmar now.

5/8/08 10:39 am

I think it's really time to put prayer into practical action. Pray for Myanmar.

5/3/08 06:18 pm - Strength and prayer

Sometimes amidst all the studying my mind wanders and I start to think about more carefree times like last year and how we had the liberty to run around and go to our favourite places and do fun things. (besides the 830-530 time which I had to strictly adhere to, unlike some people who can work whenever they wish haha) Those times are greatly missed, to say the least. I wish I could invent some machine that would help me capture those moments and not lose them forever but that's impossible so I shall just resort to dreaming and wishing. But I know the holidays are coming up soon!! My greatly anticipated 3 months break. I have no work to do. Maybe I haven't been actively looking for it, but ah I don't really want to work anyway.

Funny, I'm not superbly stressed by the exams (as you can tell because I'm here) but I'm a little more tired out than anything. I have to keep pushing myself to study and to remember that I'm even having exams. (what on earth right) Japanese Studies was a real nightmare on Wednesday, but I'm learning how to respond better in frustrating situations like that. Three more papers to go, and I'll be free... for a while. To spend some time with good friends, catch up with old friends.

The weather's been really sickening lately, I think the sun is like angry with earth or something.

Why do people get so angry easily? Does anger solve anything? In all honesty, I'm tremendously saddened. Please go for anger management classes or something. Take everything with a gentle and quiet spirit, and build some wall around myself so that they can't make me lose it, and last but not least, keep praying.
Current Mood: indifferent indifferent

4/25/08 11:55 am - Begin Again

Every day is a fresh beginning,
Every morn is the world made new;
You who are weary of sorrow and sinning,
Here is a beautiful hope for you-
A hope for me and a hope for you.

All the past things are past and over,
The tasks are done and the tears are shed;
Yesterday’s errors let yesterday cover;
Yesterday’s wounds, which smarted and bled,
Are healed with the healing which night has shed.

Yesterday now is a part of forever,
Bound up in a sheaf, which God holds tight;
With glad days and sad days and bad days which never
Shall visit us more with their bloom and their blight,
Their fullness of sunshine or sorrowful night.

Let them go, since we cannot relive them,
Cannot undo, and cannot atone.
God in His mercy, receive, forgive them;
Only the new days are our own
Today is ours, and today alone.

Here are the skies all burnished brightly,
Here is the spent earth all reborn,
Here are the tired limbs springing lightly
To face the sun and to share with the morn,
In the chrism of dew and the cool of dawn.

Everyday is a fresh beginning;
Listen, my soul, to the glad refrain,
And, spite of old sorrow and old sinning,
And puzzles forecasted and possible pain,
Take heart with the day, and begin again.

-Susan Coolidge-

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